Bird me sitting inside, bored. I decide to go for a walk outside. I come across a basket of chicks. The sight of them startles me. Bird me is puzzled by this random basket of chicks just sitting out on the yard.
I'm not sure if I used the transitions correctly.
Hi Alicia,
ReplyDeleteI love the character! As far as the transitions go, you did a good job using action-to-action in panels 1-2. I think panels 3-4 might be best to combine to one panel to help with the story pacing. As for the conclusion I think it might be best to re-work. Maybe for the last four panels, instead of being confused when you see the birds something more significant could happen - you pick up one of the chicks and another bird person comes along and snatches them back? Or, you are eating a bag of chips as you are walking down the street and when you see them, you feed them some junk food and you're happy? You could use moment-to-moment transitions (example #1 in the Scott McCloud book photocopy) showing the birds eating. You don't have to do either of these specific suggestions, but think about a way to include a moment-to-moment for the conclusion. Any questions let me know!
allison