Hey Allison, Here are the thumbs for my thrilling story of being hammered, making a poor judgement call involving running head first into a rock-solid pumpkin, and justly receiving an enormous gash on my forehead. I am not sure how I feel about frames 6 and 7. I think I could even add another panel to show the change from panel 5 to my bad decision in panel 6. What do you think?
Hi Tim,
ReplyDeleteGood job at the transitions and storytelling. You did a great job at keeping the character consistent!
Suggestions: Frames 2 and 3, maybe put your drink visible in the frame so that the reader remembers you are drinking and at a party. I like the immediacy of the action between panels 5 and 6 - maybe think about turning around the point-of-view for frame 6 though? So that the pumpkin is in the foreground and we see you rushing towards it from a distance (also another opportunity to show the party scene more clearly so the reader understands context). I don't think you need another panel between 6 and 7. Maybe think about changing panel 7 though - there could be a profile-view closeup of the impact, that will lead us nicely to the pulled back aftermath of the impact we see in panel 8. Any questions let me know!
allison